Cigar Aficionado

You can now add impotence to the list of ailments some alarmists associate with tobacco and cigar smoking. But not just any kind of impotence. Look closely at this box of Quai d'Orsay Secreto Cubano cigars and you'll see it's the kind of shameful impotence that will have you weeping, curled up in the fetal position, grasping at your sheets, infantilized and disgraced.

There seems to be no end to the creatively misleading, unnecessarily graphic and, to be frank, ridiculous depictions you can find on cigar boxes these days—everything from rotten teeth to corroded organs to dead fetuses.

Beneath all this propaganda is a box of Quai d'Orsay Secreto Cubanos, the new Regional Edition for France, but at first glance (or even second) you'd never know it. You can't even read the words Quai d'Orsay, let alone see the logo. You get the word "Quai," a bit of the Regional Edition band, some of the official Republica de Cuba seal, and most of the Habanos sticker, which, in this case, is on the lower left corner of the box, rather than the upper right corner.

On the sides of the box are more foreboding stickers.

Don't even think about checking the box date on the bottom. Flip the box over and you'll see the same, oversized warning of the weeping young man who can't get it up just because he wanted to smoke a cigar.

I must admit, at first I thought the new ailment was depression or perhaps mania. But then I saw the word "impuissance" and figured it out. This is how it is in other countries. I've seen plenty of oversize warning stickers on boxes of cigars from Mexico and Hong Kong as well. Is this what's on the horizon for American smokers? The FDA already wants to put larger warning labels on cigar boxes. That much we know. But how long before stickers like the one here end up on every box of Macanudos, Padróns and Fuentes?

Once you get past the laughable labels, the box contains 10 diminutive petit coronas called "Secreto Cubano" or Cuban secret. They measure 4 3/8 inches by 40 ring gauge, which is a standard minutos format, the same size as a Partagás Short or Ramon Allones Small Club Corona. These cigars are adorned by the newer, third-generation of Quai d'Orsay labels—notice the high gloss and gold trimming.

We haven't rated them yet here at Cigar Aficionado, but will soon. Hopefully, none of us will need to pop a blue pill afterward.